Usually, Dilbert is very realistic, but never so much as in this!

Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that: "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer and scientist knows: Power = Work/Time

Since: Knowledge=Power Time=Money,

then: Knowledge=Work/Money

Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender, take taxi home.

SYMPTOM: Truck suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

The last three paragraphs (last two in particular) of this John Udell article are worth a read. John seems fair most of the time, and it's nice to see some recognition of some of the fine work folks at Microsoft have done.

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• Explore custom UI designs and controls that used to require tons of Win 32 API alls and handwritten code that can now be mastered with just a few lines of code and not a single Win32 API call.
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Nice short video covering some of the highlights for 64-bit .NET. Worth the 15 minutes.

The much anticipated download of a fully installed & configured Visual Studio 2005 Team System Beta 2 VPC is now available for download to MSDN Universal Subscribers. This is the same VPC that was distributed at TechEd USA and TechEd EMEA and represents a clean install of Windows Server 2003 w/ Visual Studio 2005 Team System Beta 2.

VPC Contents:

• Microsoft Windows Server 2003 Standard Edition
• Microsoft Visual Studio 2005 Team Suite Beta 2 (expires May 1, 2006)
• Microsoft Visual Studio 2005 Team Foundation Server Beta 2
• Microsoft .NET Framework 2.0 Redistributable Package Beta 2
• Microsoft SQL Server 2005 Community Technology Preview
• Microsoft Office 2003 Standard Edition
• Microsoft Live Communication Server 2003

VPC does not contain any sample projects or sample data.

Minimum System Requirements:

• PC with 2.0 gigahertz or faster processor
• 1.5 GB RAM minimum
• 10 GB available hard disk space
• Super VGA (800 x 600) or higher video
• DVD-ROM drive
• Microsoft Virtual PC 2004 SP1 software

A nice InfoWorld article on the power and influence top executives really have at companies. The sad thing is it took an actual study to point out what has been obvious to people that are on the fornt lines.

I think that one point that was missed at that often times execs that might potentially be decent often purposefully build barriers betweent themselves and the "real world" just so no one can challenge them and expose them for the clueless wonders they often are.

Don Box relates in this post on one of the cool perks you get when you work at Microsoft corporate. I use Office Communicator as well, but since it is not hooked up to a PBX in the field, its basically a glorified chat client. But even without that perk, happy to be in the field.

Read this article for the rumored real name of Longhorn. Gut reaction.... puke.

Looks like CNET is running a poll on what people think of the new Windows Vista name. At this point, over 40% essentially dislike the name with about 45% think it is just ok. Fewer than 15% actually like it. It makes me wonder what the membership of the focus groups are that Microsoft uses to evaluate potential product names. Clearly they were consumer heavy and not very tech heavy. Fine if you are selling iPods, but not too great when a large part of the buying market is influenced by techies. Yes, somebody's mom may love the Vista name, but if her son or daughter is a techie and says something negative just because the name sucks - well, that should count for something.

With RSS apparently taking over the world, and the emergnece of ATOM as the challenger, this writeup is a good comparison. Choose wisely.